Edna Lyons

As though one death wasn’t enough every day I wake up I am reminded I am dying there is nothing I can do about it I am resigned to live over and over again til I die while dying over and over again if that makes any sense at all. I don’t much want to make sense nothing makes sense since you’ve been gone -“death is certain”—for me, all of us I guess – still I miss you and am still mad that I didn’t get the chance to see you more time before death stole you away—-what pisses me most is the ease death crept in right under my nose just walked away with you I thought there was more time I thought I would hear your off-key humming something from dead Charlie Parker or Grover Washingtom dying you got my sound –

again I thought I would hear your prayer before we ate – I don’t miss the terrible food you made me eat at that shitty place you liked and yep you wouldn’t like that I said shitty but well there it is – I it’s not a curse word—shitteeee- I did not – still don’t like the place but thinking about how much I miss you you almost had me walking back through the doors one day just to sit in memory of you. miiiissss you————Yeoh I almost drove up, parked and then my better senses got hold of me and and I couldn’t bring myself to do it – like I know I would sit and cry and cry and cry cry all the tears I did not cry at your funeral – blue-blues

I still haven’t worn the blue sweater you gave me – keep waiting for a special time – guess I won’t wear it now – I miss you, pretty laughter, honesty soft integrity, intelligence – sad eyes missing – You the the person who got me I needed blues, jazz, you got to hum off-key – that stuff I did not say a word off-key – I miss you more than I miss my favorite saxophone player – E-Flat!!! that’s saying something…

you got my jazz
I miss your walk

walking slow like you used to

I miss our music

I am glad the birds

still sing outside my window- glad—–

[I need music- you gone-]

–Edna Lyons

Poetry